In reading self-awareness books by Eckhart Tolle, I have learned how and why it is essential to live in the now and appreciate what or who is in front of you. Do not wait before it would be late, for once it is gone, you may never have the chance to have it back again, and only by then will you realize what it is that you lost.
Sometimes what causes your stress and depression are things that have not happened yet or that you had buried along with your past.
“Stress hits us all in life, and while a little stress is good — it keeps us focused and motivated — too much of it and it can grind our lives to a complete halt.” – Lynn Ponton, MD
“People often don’t realize that depression isn’t just one thing. It can have different causes and presentations. Some people look sad, others are more irritable, some withdraw, and others seem restless.” —Lisa Moses, PsyD
You worry too much that it stops you from doing things you want to do and the things you enjoy. It makes you not appreciate the person you are with at present, and worse, you ignore them.
When these things that worry you have started to interfere with your life and with your relationship, consider seeking the help of a professional therapist who can help you determine why you tend to ruin your relationship which should be the source of your joy.
Emotionally Focused Therapy
This form of treatment can assist you in identifying the root of the problem, finding ways to establish how best to approach the issues, and helping you focus on continuing the practical methods for you to enjoy your life at present. It may help you feel more secure in your relationship and bond healthily towards the positive path to recovery.
What Do You Get From Attending EFT?
The therapist observes the patient’s behavior in the therapist’s environment. He then compares this to how he behaves in the home setting and helps direct new modes of interaction and conversation with more truthful responsiveness.
The therapist will walk you through the process of looking at your present emotional issues and then strengthen you to dig deeper into your feelings until you discover emotions which you never thought existed. These hidden feelings and burdens from your past may be blocking your path to happiness which your current relationships actually bring.
With emotionally focused therapy, you will be taught and guided on how to express these emotions to lead the way to the road of opportunity to connect with your partner or family. You will be encouraged to learn new techniques on listening and adapt to new strategies on how to respond to spontaneous emotional circumstances.
“According to EFT, couples have relationship problems when they’ve “experienced emotional disconnection with their partner at key moments, which then leads to struggles” with negative cycles of criticism and anger (among other emotions and reactions). Therefore, the aim of EFT is to help couples overcome these negative cycles, re-establish their connection, and strengthen their emotional bond.” – Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
How To Achieve Focus
EFT is about focusing on the present and learning the lessons of the past to be able to make changes. Clients are requested to go through the following steps (as per Wikipedia) in order to achieve the goal of EFT.
- Assessment And De-escalation. The therapist establishes a comfortable and secure atmosphere for partners or family members. It will allow them to have an open discussion about any hesitation they may have about the therapy including trusting the therapist. Here, they are assessed to determine the relational struggles and negative interaction patterns, allow them to see the situation, see where the problem lies, and understand what is happening in their relationship.
- Restructuring The Relationship. Therapists assist the clients to talk about their emotions (fears, shame, insecurities) in association with the relationship and help them accept one another’s experiences. They are then encouraged to turn towards each other and discuss their needs more openly and responsively to each other.
- Union and Consolidation. The therapist allows the clients to reflect and see how they reached that negative situation and to identify how they were able to turn those situations around. They will also be encouraged to know how they will be able to continue these kinds of conversation in the future even when they are on their own.
Focus therapy aims to promote strong bonds among distressed members of a family and couples by conquering emotional challenges.
When choosing an emotionally-focused therapist, visit the BetterHelp website. Their therapists are trained and have full credentials and affiliations with EFT communities. It is vital to find a therapist with whom you feel comfortable working with to enjoy the maximum benefits of EFT.