Some people think that finding a better half will make them whole. Some are emotionally unstable, confused, or lost. They believe that if they have someone to share everything with, they would be able to find meaning and direction in life.
“Sometimes people of all ages feel like they need to do things to make their partner stay with them, even if those things are unhealthy.,” according to Brian Mustanski Ph.D.
But most often than not, it doesn’t solve the problem. It just makes it worse because when you try to be in a relationship when you are fighting a personal battle, you will only pass the negativity to your partner, and instead of moving forward, you will both be held back.
According to Grant Hilary Brenner MD, FAPA, “Anxious attachment leads to a tendency to jump into relationships, becoming sexually intimate before emotional intimacy develops, potentially leading to bonding with an incompatible partner.”
Here Are Some Of The Reasons Why It Is Not Advisable To Get Into A Relationship When You Are Emotionally Unstable:
- You will unintentionally have someone to blame. When things and don’t go according to plan, you will tend to blame it on your partner. For instance, you consult her about a decision you are uncertain about, as a partner in life, she will voice out her opinion, but once it fails, you will have someone else to share the blame. “When you’re alone, it creates opportunity for being more in touch with something inside of you,” says Dr. Niloo Dardashti, a New York-based psychologist and relationship expert.
- You will unintentionally make your partner a stress absorber when you have a lot of issues in life, for instance with your parents or siblings. You have to sort out your differences with your immediate family first before bringing in a new member to it because you might end up giving her tons of things to think about at night.
- You cannot take someone on a ride in which you are uncertain where you are going. It is unfair to your partner to get lost with you. If you love someone, you will try to give the very best as much as you could, and to make her suffer from all the things in your life is somewhat
- It is an advantage when you can figure out yourself first before trying to get involved with somebody else. It is better to know who you are and what you want in life because you know what you can offer instead of being confused and letting another person carry the burden of figuring “you” out.
- When you are emotionally unstable, chances are you are financially as well. You would not have the capability to decide on financial matters. Or if you are lucky enough to be from a well-off family, you would still rely on your parents because you don’t have the conviction necessary to succeed in life.
It is for a fact better to be with someone when you can love and know yourself thoroughly. Your relationship is more fruitful because you already know and accept your flaws as an individual. It will be easier to open up and compromise with your partner when you are knowledgeable about your feelings and emotions and what triggers your weakness such as bad moods.
It also makes it less complicated to know your expectations and her expectations about your relationship because you already know what your preferences are. Yes, the term better half is used to refer to a husband or wife, but it doesn’t literally mean half of a person because a relationship is ideally composed of two imperfect people who have learned to accept and love themselves as they are which what makes them whole.