Alona and I are sisters, and I love her with all my heart. We are the only children of our parents who love us unconditionally, although I have to say I may have disappointed them when I got pregnant when I was 18. I was still in college back then, and I had to stop going to school and get a job, but my parents insisted that I finish my studies. The guy who got me pregnant went missing, and my parents said to not bother looking for him because if he wanted to stand up for what we did that he would show up right in front our doorstep.
My experience taught me a lot in life. It’s like having wisdom about things that sometimes can make you want to go back and overturn your mistake, but then you wouldn’t because doing it will undo your child, and if it comes to that, I don’t mind being wrong a thousand times.
What Teenage Pregnancy Taught Me:
- Love is not blind, but it makes you blind. I knew what was right, but I didn’t do it anyhow. I thought I was in love, and it made me careless. “Falling in love is easy to do, almost effortless, but losing that loving feeling is not that hard to do, either,” says Kurt Smith, Psy.D. I didn’t listen to my parents, and I honestly didn’t care what they said. I even planned on running away with the dad of my baby. I couldn’t mention his name. I feel like he does not deserve to exist in my life.
I learned that there is much time for love, and most of us will marry and have a family someday. The average lifespan of a healthy human being is up to 70 to 80 years, and I realized one must enjoy at least the 25 years of it loving oneself and could spend the next 55 years with someone. So why rush?
As what Joni E Johnston Psy.D. said, “It’s not surprising to me that one of the best ways to prevent teen pregnancy is for teens to have long-term goals, good self-esteem, and a caring and consistent home environment.”
- Your family will always be family no matter what. My dad had many dreams for me. It’s not like he was dictating me, but he had high hopes for me. He said he was confident I would do well in life because I am smart and resourceful. Sometimes, I would like to think I am his favorite.
He was furious at the time he learned I was pregnant. He told me to go away and that I’m not his daughter anymore. I didn’t go. I stayed just like what my mom said. It was not an easy time. I had to bear all the harsh words and cold treatment from my dad, but when my baby came out, he always insisted on babysitting him. “My point is that every family finds a way of preventing teenage pregnancy by doing things that reflect their culture,” shares Michael Ungar Ph.D.
- I realized that I might have made a life-changing mistake, but that doesn’t define who I am and what I can achieve. It should stop me from dreaming because it’s never the end of life. It’s just the beginning of another journey. I realized that everyone is unique and that this might be my path in life. It’s just up to me how I would rise after I tripped.
I learned that having a child at a young age doesn’t change my dreams. I am still the same person who wanted to be a doctor. I didn’t lose my sight or whatnot. In fact, I gained another soul to inspire me to achieve my goals.
These are the few things I learned from being a mom at an early age, and I guess I became so busy focusing on me that I didn’t notice someone was affected by my life. It’s my sister, Alona. We found out that she’s pregnant at 17. It crushed our soul, but I couldn’t get mad. She was me five years back. I couldn’t help but cry, but I know she can be as strong as me. We are sisters after all.
I am two years to finishing my degree, and I’m so excited about what is waiting for me, my son, and Alona. I have full faith in her that she will be as positive as me. With her family by her side, there’s nothing but happiness.