When we become adults, we become responsible for all the life choices we make. Every decision either takes us a step toward success or a step backward. Subconsciously, we make choices based on our life experiences, our foundation as a child, and everything that has been formed inside us when we were kids.
Childhood trauma can be in the form of physical, verbal, emotional, or psychological abuse.
“When a child is suffering from mental, social or emotional, or psychological distress and/or trauma, it can be hard to cope with, especially when you feel like nothing is working or there’s nothing you can do to remedy the situation,” said Dr. Ree Y. Langham, Ph.D.
Some people have difficulties when they step into the adult world. They are not emotionally and mentally prepared to be in a place where there is a lot of competition, and their ability to make the right choices on their own is not sufficiently stable.
How to Recover From a Bad Childhood
- People tend to suppress every sad memory they have in their past. They thought that if they try to conceal them, they will just go away. Containing these things will only make them buried in our subconscious and will eventually come out when triggered. Just like acknowledging a problem to find a solution, remembering our past experiences, no matter how terrible it might be, is a crucial step to overcoming an awful childhood.
- The healing process cannot start if we haven’t dealt with the cause of our trauma. According to Sharie Stines, Psy.D., “Healing requires patience, understanding, safety, and validation.” If it’s possible, make a way to confront what caused your pain. If it’s your parents, siblings, or another member of the family, make time to see them. You don’t need to tell them to ask for your forgiveness, but you can tell them how you feel and forgive them anyway.
- When you have forgiven those who caused you pain, do something new or go to a place that refreshes you. Let the moment sink in and feel the burden come out of your system. Watch a feel-good movie or read an inspirational book. These things will help you maintain the feeling of forgiving.
- After you forgive, it’s time to forget. It could be a difficult thing to do, but it is essential to finally let go of the things that might be blocking your success. Let go of the negativity and forget it. Think of your experience as an inspiration to be better.
- Once you have already forgiven and forgotten, remember your goals and make plans for how you could achieve them. Move on by focusing on the future and how you want it to be.
Recovering from a bad childhood is easier said than done. We have to put ourselves back together and stay firm. The company of someone you can trust could also be helpful during this time. Express your feelings and learn to laugh about it. “As you begin to take steps to nourish the body, you will be better able to deal with therapy for trauma and the symptoms associated with trauma,” as stated by Dr. Carolyn Coker Ross, MD, MPH, Eating Disorder Specialist.
Never carry the burden of sad memories. It doesn’t define who you are. It is a tool to make you stronger and smarter in life. Never let it control you. Just let it go, and bear in mind that it’s all part of the past, something that you don’t have control over. Instead, focus on the future and hold on to an affirmation that could help you look forward to excellent adulthood.