Achieving Productivity Despite Stressful Situations

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Sometimes, even though we strive to do the best that we can to get to the top, grab that bonus, or achieve that promotion, we just have other important events coming up, family matters to attend to, and personal situations that need our time. No matter how much we have convinced ourselves that we are strong and resilient to negativity, the stress just gets the best of us. “To shift to a more positive mindset and help you be more productive, psychologist Emma Seppälä recommends replacing your belief in strengths with belief in your efforts and replacing self-criticism with self-compassion.

But please don’t go berserk if and when this happens to you, because almost all studies have proven that stress is inevitable, but the effects that it can have on us aren’t. There are always ways that we can practice so that we don’t see stress as a threat but as, a challenge that can only help us become better, if not the best, version of ourselves. According to Diane Roberts Stoler Ed.D., “There is extensive research on how stress affects your ability to attend, concentrate, store and retrieve information.”

Understand The Stress You Are In. If you are stressed because you’re about to be interviewed for a job, think about the opportunities for career advancement. If you’re anxious about a presentation, think about how the experience will help you improve in terms of interpersonal skills. Don’t think about how stressful the activity is but also include its purpose and its positive outcomes.

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Don’t Overwork The Brain. Studies suggest that when the brain is loaded with too much information, it becomes difficult for it to see the positive aspects, so don’t overwork it. For example, after you’ve showered, eaten, and dressed for work, you then get into your car to go to your office. Don’t turn on the radio yet. Or if you can’t resist listening to music in the car, just put it on low volume, so your brain won’t get ‘shocked’ with the quiet environment it was in while you were getting ready. Think of your brain if you want to see more of the positives in your life.

Get Enough Sleep And Don’t Starve Yourself. A popular acronym for four barriers to success is HALT: hungry, angry, lonely, tired. When you don’t get the sleep that you need, you lose the energy to get up and be excited to work efficiently. If you starve yourself, your sugar levels will drop, causing your mood to go haywire as well. So try to get a goodnight’s rest, eat when you’re hungry, don’t panic, and do talk to someone when you feel lonely or depressed. All these will go a long way to combatting stress negativity. According to Michael J Breus Ph.D., “Managing stress and ensuring a routine of plentiful, high-quality sleep are critical to protecting your health.”

Project Success. When you’re up against a challenge in life, don’t think about how difficult it’s going to be. Think of it as another opportunity to achieve success, just as you did when you have succeeded so many times in your life. Remember that pessimism is a surefire way to be closer to failure.

Don’t Start With Zero. Experts suggest that for the brain to be stimulated to do things enthusiastically, you train it to recognize the progress you’ve done so far. For example, you have so much to do today that you don’t know how or where to start. But you’ve eaten your breakfast, dressed up, and have already made a few phone calls, so that’s progress for the day, right? Jot that down. This somehow speeds your brain up, and you are encouraged to accomplish the rest of your goals.

Final Thoughts

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Stress is not something that we should be afraid of but a challenge to be faced with resilience, positivity, patience, and some of these effective strategies that you learn to live by. With these weapons, you can be sure to achieve productivity if you want to, when you want to!

 

 

 

How To Survive A Divorce

According to Michelle Farris, a marriage and family therapist, “Divorce is one of the most stressful events anyone can ever experience.” There are many things that you will experience the moment you file a divorce case against your spouse. Even if you are the one who filed the petition to end the marriage in court, you cannot deny to yourself that a part of you is hurting. Do not worry nor fret because what you are feeling right now is only typical for someone who has gone through a complicated relationship. “Detaching from an ex-partner may be especially difficult for people who are anxiously attached in the first place,” says Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D.

According to a therapist, many people end up getting hurt even if they are the ones who initiated the divorce.

 

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If you feel or think like you are going through a hard time right now because of the separation with your loved one, make sure that you read this article. We are going to talk or discuss the different ways on how you can survive this heart-breaking moment of your life. Here are the things that you must know:

 

Be Real

 

The first step that you must do is to keep everything real. As much as possible, learn how to accept the shortcomings and failures not only of your ex-partner but also those that you are guilty of. Remember that the marriage ended for a reason. Learn how to accept all those reasons so that you can quickly move on from the broken relationship. Everyone knows that the process is not going to be easy, but as long as you have the will to move on with your life, everything is going to be easy.

 

Forgive Your Ex

 

One of the things that you must also do at this point is to find it in your heart to forgive your ex-spouse. As much as possible, learn how to offer forgiveness even if the other person is not asking for it. Take note that the more you hate your ex, the more power he has over you. In the long run, it can only make the situation worse. If you do not want him to affect you in so many ways, it is best if you will forgive your ex-lover. Remember that having grudge or hatred in your heart can make you unlovable too. As such, you will also find it challenging to get back on the right track.

 

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Think of Your Kids

 

“Divorce creates emotional turmoil for the entire family, but for kids, the situation can be quite scary, confusing, and frustrating,” stresses Amy Morin, LCSW. Take note that while the relationship has already ended, it is not yet the end of the world. You must constantly remind yourself that there are still children in the marriage whom you need to care. Make sure that you never forget your kids because they need you even after the divorce. This is the time in their lives when they want to feel that you love them more than anything in the world. Do not forget your responsibilities with your children. Otherwise, they will end up getting hurt in the long run. At the same time, they may also seek comfort from other people who can only have a bad influence over them. If you do not want your children to rebel against you, make sure to find time with them. Dedicate your time and attention into making them feel better at all times even if their parents have broken up.

 

Focus On Your Future

 

Another thing that you must always take into consideration is to look forward instead of staying in the past. You must always keep in mind that there is still a lot of things to enjoy about life after your divorce. Focus on the good stuff instead of walking down the memory lane. Take note that you will only end up hurting yourself. When you start or learn to let go of the past, you will have a brighter future. Remember that what is at stake here is your future. If you continue to refrain from moving, nothing good will ever happen in your life. You will always be stressed or anxious if you will continue to let the past affect you. Be smart enough to learn when to forget your hurtful past.

 

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Conclusion

 

As already mentioned above, there are tons of ways that you can do to move on from a failed marriage. You need to believe in yourself. Give yourself a chance at happiness. Look at the divorce as an opportunity for you to start over again. Keep in mind that what matters in this life is your perspective. Continue to surround yourself with the right people, and you will be surprised at how easy everything can be. Do not give up right away just because things are hard. There is something good that will come out from your current situation.

 

Psychology’s Warning Signs Of A Person Becoming Toxic

Since you hold your life and write the stories in it, other opinions don’t matter. That is because every struggle you face, there is always a decision you have to make. But not all of those are going to be beneficial. At some point, almost half of it can cause even more damage to the situation. There are times that even though you think you are doing well with others, your unintentional repeated hurtful behavior counts. “People with personality disorders can have an uncanny effect on you, which is to say if you have a personality disorder you have a really potent expectation about how someone else will behave, usually like a son of a bitch,” Dr. Jordan B. Peterson says. But do not worry because it doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person, just human. Self-awareness will help you get better. But before you try and fix yourself, you need first to understand the psychology’s warning signs of a person becoming toxic.

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Can’t Seem To Maintain A Healthy Relationship

You can internalize and wonder why your relationships often end up in a dump. Yes, it takes both individuals to handle it. However, if it is not working and not contributing anything to both of your development, it might have something to do with toxicity. It might be you or your partner who’s at fault. Well, toxic relationships are not always abusive, controlling, and manipulative. Usually, issues stem out from over-analysis. Meaning, those less confident individuals who are in a relationship are more likely to expect rejection from their loved ones. There is no honesty in what one truly feels. In this case, over exaggeration wins. That is because the more a person thinks the relationship will fall, the more it will.

Can’t Trust People And Drain Them Out

It is an excellent attitude to accept that not everyone likes you. However, when you start thinking that people around you, such as friends and families, are only enemies in disguise, there surely is something wrong. It is as if your head is too busy making everything a competition. If it is a friendly one, then yes it can become a contributing factor for growth. But if it is just something you thought as a way to drain people out of your life, then you have a problem. There will be a buildup of obsession over the idea of surpassing people all out. With this mentality, expect to lose emotional stability because there is no doubt no one is going to be there to support your emotional and mental needs.

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Asks For Forgiveness Only Once In A Blue Moon

In psychology, experts believe that toxic individuals always play the victim card. Meaning, these people don’t ever take accountability for their damaging actions. So if you are undergoing a hard time swallowing pride and often ignore the value of apologizing, then all can agree that you are becoming a toxic person. It is problematic because this attitude significantly sabotages relationships and social connections. When you don’t think you need to say sorry even if you have done something wrong, you miss out on understanding others. That attitude makes people want to stay away from you. With that, you deprive yourself of emotional and mental growth.

Issues Are Flooding Everywhere

Always bringing drama to the table is a significant red flag of becoming a toxic individual. These include the habit of spreading rumors and starting fights within the group. When you think that telling grandiose stories are more important than your friends and family’s feelings, then you are in trouble. You can say that the results of those actions will not matter. But the consistency of the habit of hurting the ones you love and leaving people behind is the worst attitude someone would ever have. If you only focus on what you feel, need, and want, you will never deserve to have it all. There is no chance people will like you, stand up for you, and continue to love you without regret.

“The reason most people find happiness to be elusive is that they don’t do the things that they need to in order to experience mental wellness,” says Jennice Vilhauer Ph.D.

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Too Dependent On Social Media

You probably feel great when a lot of people like your photos and posts on Instagram and Facebook. Psychology believes that it has become one of the great contributors of self-confidence. This was also mentioned in Babble and SheKnows. However, when your self-image becomes a top priority than being emotionally and mentally present, it becomes an issue. As psychologist Eric B. Weiser states – social networks may create or reinforce narcissistic tendencies because they serve primarily as self-promotional platforms. It makes you toxic because you begin to rely on an audience validation due to its social media ego boost effect. The idea of that is you become dependent on what other people say. You begin to focus more on what others tell you to do rather than making critical decisions for yourself. You lose control.

If you believe these traits are becoming yours, then pause, think, and evaluate.

Couples Therapy (Recommended Even For New Couples!)

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Couples therapy is now the foreseen solution for marital problems. It is now being used as an intervention tool not only by regular people but celebrities and personalities as well. Even Kristen Bell, the star of the movie “Frozen” is also into couples’ therapy with her husband. That’s because they don’t want to develop mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and more.

“Often, the idea of seeing a marriage or couples therapist sits on the back burner, with one or both parties thinking that it may be a good idea, but also feeling unsure of how to proceed — and of whether their specific problems can really be helped,” says Andrea Bonior Ph.D.

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Recovering From A Divorce You Didn’t Want

 

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The collapse of a marriage is difficult enough even when both husband and wife agree to end it, but handling a divorce that you don’t want to happen is particularly devastating. The situation will be difficult to grasp, and your mind keeps asking what happened and where you did wrong. According to Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D., “If you have reached the point at which you truly believe that there is little hope that a fractured friendship or ruptured romance can be repaired, it is important to maintain your resolve and terminate the relationship for good.” You will dread the anxiety and frustration of waiting for another sad day when you wake up. You’ll have to get used to being single again after being married for quite a long time.

Bad news: You can’t escape the feelings even though you want to. You can go to the bar every night, smoke, drink, and go after women. But the pain and the heartache won’t go away.

Good news: You will get through this. Yes, you didn’t want this divorce, but you just need to gather what little hope you have inside you and tell yourself a simple truth – that you will get through this and have a future without your spouse. You must remember that.

Here are some things you can live by while mending your broken heart and trying to stand up from your fall.

Reminder 1. Today is painful, but tomorrow will be better.

While the divorce is going on, surround yourself with family, friends, and significant others who truly care. Talking to others in similar situations can be a tremendous source of support,” according to  Amy Bellows, Ph.D. Unfortunately, this support system, despite their encouragement and presence, they are just a distraction from the actual situation that you’re in. You will enjoy being with them, and they’ll be there with you until you pass out and go home. It’s when you are alone in your room when you realize that you and you alone are accountable for overcoming your ordeal. After helping yourself deal with today by being with others, keep in mind that feeling happy and content tomorrow will be on you.

Reminder 2. There is no shortcut to the healing journey.

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You can’t evade the lesson. You cannot blame your partner for leaving you and wanting the divorce and not understanding that you don’t want it. (That’s her take and yours is different.) And when you decide to go on a date, you start looking for someone totally different from your partner, someone who understands you and perhaps who has everything figured out, someone who can heal you. But really, that’s not how it is. Because the truth is, the healing won’t come from another person. It is an inside job. It must start and end with you.

How you will deal with the changes, the stress, and the pressures of everyday life will determine how you will emerge after the ordeal. There will be scars – everyone does have scars – but how they have healed will depend on you. According to Sharie Stines, Psy.D., “Healing requires patience, understanding, safety, and validation.”

Reminder 3. Learn to release your grip from the things that once were.

It’s not easy to let things be and accept a divorce that you didn’t want in the first place. The change will be unwanted, but it is inevitable. It is a process, but it has to start with number one and end with the last number, whatever it is. It may feel like a never-ending rollercoaster ride, but when you begin to accept and respect the circumstances, you’re on your way to the second step. No, the way is not straight at all. It’s crooked, bent, and rocky. But you must go through it so you will gather the resilience, patience, and self-confidence to live again truly.

Reminder 4. Stop chasing the negative feelings.

Don’t stay close with people who put up with your anger, bitterness, and depression, and those who are still feeling these things after their divorce. Surround yourself with positive people and those who are handling divorce and other issues appropriately. Positivity means going through something but moving on in the right direction. It is difficult, but you must – for your sake and your other loved ones.

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Reminder 5. You will get through this – soon!

If you think you can’t go through it by yourself, then look for others who can help you. Go an extra mile to be with family and friends. Create new happy memories to replace the painful ones. Do something new, something that you’ve always wanted but you couldn’t because you were still with your partner. Seek professional help. Talk to a therapist. There’s nothing wrong with finding professional means to heal. Believe you can – and you will.

 

 

 

 

Daily Dose Of Faith: Self-Faith Is The Key To Success

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We have about 4200 religions all over the world, and each one believes in higher power. It may be challenging for some to understand the word faith. Does it fit to be an emotion, feeling, identity, individuality, or is it just an illusion? All these four thousands of religions have a core belief where they anchor their existence.

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Achieving Mental Wellness (Things You Should Consider)

 

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The World Health Organization (WHO) defines mental health as a state of wellness wherein the individual recognizes that his abilities are sufficient to cope with the everyday stresses of life. It’s the potential to become productive and capable of making a positive contribution to the community. Mental wellness is a positive state of overall health and is not only about the absence of mental disorder. It means that a person’s mind is in order and functioning in his best interest. It is the condition where the emotional and psychological factors are well-balanced, performing, and responsive to the environmental aspects.

 

The Factors Affecting Mental Health

A lot of internal and external factors contribute to the cognitive and emotional well-being. It includes financial issues, relationships with loved ones, work environment, as well as the adaptation to behavioral skills. Mentally well people have a positive outlook in life. They are self-assured and genuinely happy. They are mainly in control of their emotions, thoughts, and behavior, and this enables them to handle life challenges.

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Achieve Mental Wellness

  • Pay attention to your feelings. According to Shainna Ali Ph.D., LMHC, “Recognizing the importance of wellness, reflecting on what your wellness encompasses, and tending to your wellness are all powerful preventative methods to improve your mental health and overall well-being.” You should be able to express your thoughts and ideas. One of the best possible ways to do this is through writing a journal or talking to people. Share your experiences and let other people know how you honestly feel. Know your emotional capabilities and understand the situation you are in. This way, you will be able to achieve mental wellness.

 

  • Learn to be at peace with yourself. Learn and get to know who you are, what you are, and what makes you happy. Acknowledge the things you can do and work on those things that you can’t. Identify your strengths and weaknesses and use them together in every aspect of your life. Always stay away from toxic pressure and remain calm all the time.

 

  • Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Listen to your body and let it enjoy the healthy and nutritious food. Enjoy a balanced meal and consider exercising regularly. Limit or avoid alcohol consumption, as well as the smoking habit if there’s any. Being physically and mentally healthy brings a lot of positivity in life, and that’s the key to mental wellness.

 

  • Build strong relationships. “When you are feeling a bit ungrounded, support from others can help you keep perspective and moving ahead,” says Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W. Learn to understand and be sympathetic with other people. Make time for your family and friends and share all life joys and sorrows. Every minute is worth sharing, and this type of investment is immeasurable. It results in a strong foundation of relationship and an enjoyable life.

 

  • Volunteer for a cause. It will help you connect with people and at the same time learn the values of life. Not everyone has the opportunity to be able to give back to the people. Being able to give back brings incredible feelings in return.

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The reason why most people find happiness elusive is that they don’t do things that they need to experience mental wellness.  But if an individual perceives the right idea and tries to become healthy, he’ll never regret having that decision. “The more self-love you have for yourself, the better prepared you are for healthy relating. Even more, you will start to attract people and circumstances to you that support your well-being,” according to Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D.

Factors That Contribute To A Successful Therapy

Therapies are meant to correct issues or irregularity in our wellbeing, but not all who have undergone therapy achieved great results. Some have missed the essential details and benefits of counseling and therapies. Several factors affect the outcome of treatment, and it all depends on the patient first and foremost. His decisions and responses play a vital role in the consistency and effectiveness of each approach.

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5 Qualities Necessary To Become A Successful Psychiatrist

“What would you want to be when you grow up?” All of us have possibly answered this question when we were a kid, and perhaps not a single one has replied: “I want to be a psychiatrist!” We probably never had any idea this profession exists. Our innocence might have protected us from the knowledge that mental health issues do exist, and we need people to specialize in that field to provide help to people who need it.

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What Are The Steps You Need To Accomplish To Become A Psychiatrist?

 

  1. You must obtain a bachelor’s degree. Any course is qualified but taking up courses which would gain you an advantage are namely biology, chemistry, physics, and math.

 

  1. You must obtain a medical degree and gain exposure to all the necessary education you need.

 

  1. You must complete a residency which could usually take four years.

 

  1. You must obtain a license to practice psychiatry.

 

  1. Having a board certification from American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology (ABPN) gives you more credibility and opportunity, but it’s not required to practice.

 

Being a certified psychiatrist is not enough to be successful. Many factors influence a person’s success in his profession and obtaining the necessary certifications is just the beginning of the course towards becoming a successful psychiatrist.

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What Are The Qualities You Need To Be An Excellent And Successful Psychiatrist?

 

  1. Humble

 

You should have the humility to accept that there is no limitation to learning. As long as you live, there are new things that can contribute to your growth, and you can gain them through your experiences and that of those you interact with every day.

“Someone not burdened with the fears and concerns around the decision can bring a unique wisdom that can accelerate success,” shares Gleb Tsipursky Ph.D.

 

  1. Compassionate

 

You should be able to show sincere empathy to people who are experiencing difficulties in life. Hearing their struggles is not enough. It is essential to listen to everything they want to convey and feel what they wish to express. When dealing with difficult behavior, Paul Chafetz, PsyD offers this advice: “Respond with empathy but remain vague and noncommittal.”

 

  1. Sensitive

 

You need to have complete sensitivity to understand your patient fully. At the same time, you need to be able to filter your words to deliver positive words and prevent misunderstanding. Remember that everything you say will echo in your patient’s head, so make sure that they are all encouraging.

 

  1. Trustworthy

 

To be an excellent psychiatrist, you need to be able to build connection and trust. It is crucial that your patient is comfortable in telling you everything, and they are sure that your ultimate intention is to better their situation.

 

  1. Knowledgeable

 

One of the uniqueness of psychiatrists is they can prescribe medications to patients to address symptoms of mental health issues. Some problems are a bit challenging that they need more than just counseling and therapies. An excellent psychiatrist should be able to think and act fast and should have the proper knowledge of the drugs available to treat specific conditions.

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License and certifications are required to be able to practice our dream professions, but it takes more than these to be extraordinary in what we do. There are far more significant factors in determining our success. All occupations are made to help humanity enjoy a better life and solve problems, so don’t just be a professional – be exceptional.

“With the right mindset, it may be possible to handle challenges better and pursue success without getting down on yourself,” says Catherine Moore, Psychologist, MBA.