Therapy 101: Ways To Go Through Midlife Crisis Peacefully

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If you send out a poll to the masses regarding the age group they want to be a part of forever, many people might choose early childhood. That is when life feels so simple, after all. If you’re hungry, you can ask your mommy or daddy to feed you. It is not a problem either if you play all day every day since you don’t have responsibilities.

What a lot of individuals dread, however, is adulthood. You can no longer entrust your financial needs to anyone; otherwise, you might find yourself homeless and full of debt. Various illnesses may be bothering you as well, e.g., arthritis, cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, et cetera.

Nevertheless, what seems scarier than all of that is a midlife crisis. You may have seen friends transform into a completely unrecognizable persona after hitting a certain age. The once-thrifty woman started spending on material things to fit in with the new generation, for instance. A widow or widower who vowed never to remarry may be a regular at bars or on Tinder too, hoping to meet a partner.

Something you should keep in mind is that midlife crisis is almost as inevitable as the leaves falling from trees during autumn. There’s a huge possibility that you’ll go through it, especially if your duties lessen and you have more time to spare. “Not all mid-life crisis’ need to end in disaster, some are actually for the better and can motivate a person to live up to their full potential.”Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC

Despite that, therapy experts say that it’s also probable to overcome this issue peacefully when you know not to:

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  1. Have Extramarital Affairs

Cheating on your spouse to feel good about yourself is an absolute no-no, regardless of what stage of life you are in at this time. In case you are uncertain of your love for your better half, you can speak about it with him or her first. If there’s no way to resolve your issues, you may file for divorce, and then find someone new. Don’t try to do this process in reverse because karma has its wicked way of catching up with you.

  1. Drop Your Job Instantly

Considering you think as if you should be doing other things instead of staying stuck in the office, kindly refrain from handing in your resignation letter immediately. For one, you may merely be overthinking, and that is playing tricks with your head. You might also be able to branch out towards a different path without cutting yourself off from the old, stable one.

If the former proves to be fruitful, then you can leave your job without regrets. If it doesn’t, however, then at least you have the latter to keep until you decide to try something else.

  1. Pester Your Family Doctor Over Small Things

Another sign that you are experiencing midlife crisis is that you assume that a simple sneeze or a cough is a symptom of a severe health condition. You don’t wait for 24 hours before calling your physician. Even if he or she says you still require monitoring before getting prescription, you might bug him or her every two hours to give you medicine.

Want sound advice? Don’t ever do that. Not only will this behavior annoy the doctor, but you are also consuming the time that he or she should spend treating patients with real illnesses. So calm down for a while and see after a day or two whether you still need medical assistance or not.

  1. Pressure Your Children To Do This Or That

One issue when you have lots of clutter in your brain is that your parenting skills may become faulty. Instead of practicing maximum tolerance around the kids, your fuse might blow up even if they toe the line ever so slightly. You might enroll them as well in extracurricular classes, irrespective of how many times they said they couldn’t handle any more activity.

Although there’s no doubt that you want your children to excel in different fields, you should not push them to do this or that. The sole person who’s happy about that is you, frankly speaking. You can make suggestions, but you need to let your kids pick the activities they will try. This way, you will have a more harmonious life at home, and your worries might subside eventually.

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“With men at midlife, a similar balance between restraint/limits and exploration is needed as issues of freedom, autonomy, and self-definition from adolescence are reworked. Mastery and opportunity come from self-exploration, not outward rebellion. The key is recognizing that the protest is an internal conflict over constraints and self-perceptions internalized in the past, creating an internal divide.”Lynn Margolies, Ph.D.

Midlife crisis is a problem that every individual past the age of 40 can experience. Your previous sources of happiness may suddenly seem dull to you during this phase. To say that it can turn your life upside down is a total understatement.

However, the question is, will you let it happen? “I would go so far as to call it a midlife opportunity,” says Marsha Sinetar, Ph.D.“It’s time to look at questions like, Who am I? What do I believe? What do I really need? Those are issues worth examining. This means taking yourself seriously, perhaps for the first time.”

In case you wish to live peacefully even when you are going through a midlife crisis, you should get online therapy from BetterHelp today.

 

Focus Therapy: Conquering Emotional Challenges

In reading self-awareness books by Eckhart Tolle, I have learned how and why it is essential to live in the now and appreciate what or who is in front of you.  Do not wait before it would be late, for once it is gone, you may never have the chance to have it back again, and only by then will you realize what it is that you lost.

Sometimes what causes your stress and depression are things that have not happened yet or that you had buried along with your past.

“Stress hits us all in life, and while a little stress is good — it keeps us focused and motivated — too much of it and it can grind our lives to a complete halt.”Lynn Ponton, MD

“People often don’t realize that depression isn’t just one thing. It can have different causes and presentations. Some people look sad, others are more irritable, some withdraw, and others seem restless.”Lisa Moses, PsyD

You worry too much that it stops you from doing things you want to do and the things you enjoy.  It makes you not appreciate the person you are with at present, and worse, you ignore them.

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Counseling And How It Can Transform Your Life For The Better

 

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There is a slow inclination towards improved acceptance in discussing personal challenges and mental health. How recognized is it to try counseling, though? Potentially, you might have only gone to counseling when you had no last resort and frustratingly sitting at home, feeling depressed and miserable.

My first experience with counseling was when I was in college. I was really flooded with emotions of guilt and anxiety that were all infiltrating during my first term. Deep inside, I was overwhelmed with insecurity and self-doubt, and I felt like someone else walking and living the academic life. This initial counseling experience was a monotonous event of four weekly consults offering a taste of healing in the weeks to come. I had very little eagerness for these sessions, but my craving for self-exploration had been there, as my concerns were heard and taken by heart for the first time in a long time.

Several years after, when I’d finished my college education and did some traveling, I had anticipated having discovered myself and eliminated any prowling demons. These experiences were obviously significant, but they had not really transformed my mental health. I unwillingly comprehended that perhaps I had to look inside to heal, so I sought counseling again, which progressed for almost one year.

This time around, I felt more relieved to talk freely. I was struggling during my teenage years at home, and now I can talk about this securely without any judgment. I slowly felt more empathetic for my young self and more appreciative of how I was coping then, while previously, I had been harshly critical about myself. I accepted that I didn’t have a voice at that time, and other people’s opinions became my standard of self-worth. Counseling helped me start to listen to myself again.

Now, I wonder where I could be if I hadn’t gone through counseling. I guess I would still be severely critical of myself and others and subsequently concerned and worried all the time. Counseling taught me to slow down and instill more kindness and empathy. It helped me stop myself from repeating most of the patterns that were so robustly rooted in my early life. I learned to let go of old hatred and frustrations. In short, it did change my life for the better.

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Below are some common reasons why counseling can truly transform your life for the better.

You Get To Comprehend Why You Do Some Things That Are Not Sensible.

Perhaps you drink too much, overeat, or harm yourself. Maybe you were humiliated by how you acted and are frustrated why you can’t stop your unpleasant behavior. Counseling offers a safe space to discover your fears and doubts about change.

You Start Valuing Yourself.

You become skilled at making others happy. Counseling helps you practice the value of honest appreciation for others as well as for yourself.

You Come To Terms With Your Past.

When you realize and accept your past experiences, you also value the lessons – good and bad – that you have learned from them. You find extraordinary value in gaining knowledge and understanding of your past and how it has shaped your journey through life. Painful experiences are resolved, and previous wounds are repaired.

There Is Transformation In Self-Awareness.

Without self-awareness, you will perhaps be in a puzzled state of living. Establishing self-awareness enables you to look at the world from the outside and become a keen observer. You start to make sense of various things, hence developing a sense of understanding and transparency.

You, Will, Learn How To Deal With Your Thoughts.

With more than 60,000 thoughts floating through your mind every day, plus the recurrent worries and concerns that come up, counseling can help you recognize and organize your thoughts – efficiently filter which ones you need to prioritize and which ones you can set aside. When you master that, you suddenly realize that you are more in control of your thoughts and your life as a whole.

You Get To Live In The Present.

If you have depression or anxiety, you could be spending a lot of time either regretting the things you did or feeling anxious about your future. Counseling will slowly enable you to be more mindful of the present and to feel more connected – and confident – of what the world will bring you, whatever it is.

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You, Will, Have More Meaningful Relationships.

In counseling, you may begin to feel grateful for the relationships relevant to you and learn to invest in them more. You can also choose to take a few steps back from connections that are noxious or disrupting your well-being. The therapeutic aspect of counseling provides a practice area for connections in the real world.

You Become Bolder And Stronger.

You may have thought about the world being a scary and negative place, and you might have valid reasons to confirm this view. When you go through counseling, you gradually learn to heal from these challenging experiences and events; hence, you grow bolder and stronger. The past will have very little effect on your present and future. You now learn to create your own safe space filled with happiness, confidence, and love.

 

 

Successful Counselors And Their Tips For A Fulfilling Life

 

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What can we do to succeed in life? But first, how do you define success?

To others, when they contemplate success, they think about wealth. Some think of it as possessing power, and some want to make a significant mark globally.

All these objectives are entirely logical. Truly, success is a notion that describes various things to various types of people. But regardless of what success means to you, it almost definitely is not something that will be given to you easily.

There are hundreds of books and guides to becoming successful, as success is distinct and personal to each person. The pieces of advice written in these books are often not important. Hence, applying them to a single individual would most probably be impractical.

Having these in mind, taking into account the advice of successful counselors and other professionals whose concepts of success are diverse and taken from years of experience can be a beneficial alternative.

Seek Things That You Love Doing And Doing Them

Picture yourself being successful in your present job. You would perhaps find yourself working really hard, and this job will take up most of your time. If you hate the job you’re in, even if you’re successful, this might fill you with something you don’t love doing. So, where’s the sense of it all?

Rather, why not concentrate on doing the things you love? When you find a job or an activity that makes you happy, you have more motivation to keep yourself inspired and moving. Success at doing what you love means the realization of your dreams. Even if you don’t succeed, you still have spent your time on something you are passionate about. Numerous successful artists spent many years doing free performances, and the only reason they persevered was that they loved performing.

Practice Balancing Your Life

Here’s an inspiring statement from the leaders of Nike:

“There’s an undeniable conflict at work in business and life, an endless battle between chaos and peace. Neither of these two can be mastered, but both can be swayed. How you deal with that is the key to success.”

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Most often, we think that to succeed; we need to make the object of our success our life. If we believe that our jobs will expedite our success, we could spend several hours daily, including night hours, working hard. However, doing this compromises our health, relaxation, and living a joyous life. Consequently, we may end up getting burned out and won’t reach success in our jobs after all. If success arises from having a robust social life and a great company of friends, our jobs could suffer, meaning that we might sacrifice our jobs and then be incapable of doing out with our friends.

In these situations, success, as the leaders from Nike stated, is reinforced by balance. Please take it as an equilibrium between work and rest or play and work.

Have A Steadfast Resolution For Success

It is too easy to surrender when we fail, but the only means to move forward is if your desire to succeed is strong enough not to be swayed or discouraged from attaining your goals. If you are not really committed to achieving success, every failure will be more painful; every setback will inevitably weaken you.

Indeed, success is tough. Without the steadfast longing to succeed, this hardship might seem impossible. However, with a desire in your heart and mind, it is simply a challenge to surpass.

Be An Individual Of Action

Imagine meeting someone like Shakespeare. When we think about the period that he was living in, we think of the time in a way that he himself formed. If we imagine the Renaissance period, we imagine Leonardo and Michelangelo shaping Italy. On the other hand, if we think about today, we think about the two shapers of our generation, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. Our way of life would be all too different if these two successful innovators didn’t shape the present. In fact, you may be reading this article on a device or application founded by them.

These innovators were individuals of action. They founded strategies to do things uniquely and then did them. If they allowed the world to influence them, they would have merely become part of its background. But they instead shaped the world, influenced it.

Let’s not be scared of going outside of our comfort zone. If we can think of better ways to do something, strive to do it the best way possible. If we fail, we always have room to try and try again. Ultimately, do not sit and wait for the best time to act. Do what needs to be done right now.

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Conclusion

You may have observed that several of the above-mentioned tips are the same – most involve creating the right state of mind. This obviously implies that the key to attaining success, in whatever you desire, all boils down to the means that you approach it physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Regardless of whatever phase of life you are at now, you can always make a difference if you pursue success.

 

 

 

Frequently Asked Questions About Personality Psychology

Have you been suffering from addiction or negative behaviors? Does it seem like it is so difficult to climb out of the hole? Do you think your personality plays a role in how you think, feel, and act? Are your assets and attributes a result of your environment (nurture)? Or are they innate and hereditary (nature)?

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Interestingly, research has uncovered that no single personality or set of personality traits leads to addiction. There may be a few common traits in certain individuals suffering from addiction, such as alcohol addiction. However, it is not conclusive. Despite the variety of features, only the inability to self-regulate was a pivotal factor. This key characteristic determines the likelihood of getting addicted to substances.

However, it is still very important to look into the psychology of personality. It is possible to understand who you truly are and what you can do about the situation through it. Understanding your motivations, thought patterns, tendencies, and reactions to stimuli can bring a healthier predisposition. It can then lead towards growth and development in life. Moreover, it can also bring inevitable changes.

An individual’s personality is generally regarded as a permanent attribute. It is largely stable and inherited. But some findings indicate that major life events may lead to an alternative version of a personality. Personality traits, commonly identified as: 

  • neuroticism, 
  • extroversion, 
  • conscientiousness, 
  • openness to experience, and 
  • agreeableness.

These are all key indicators to predict a person’s economic, social, and psychological potential.

In this article, we run through the study of personality through the lens of psychology. We will discuss how it can help us assess ourselves and adjust accordingly in life. In this series of questions, you will learn about the important theoretical frameworks and personalities’ common categories. You will also find out the essential personality traits that make a positive individual.

What are the four major theories of personality?

The four major theories of personality, according to psychologists, include trait, social cognition, humanistic, and psychoanalytic approaches. 

What is personality psychology?

Personality is a blend of emotions, thought patterns, motivation, and behaviors that define a person—personality psychology endeavors to study differences and similarities in these patterns among various people and races. 

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How many types of personality are there in psychology?

Comprehending your personality can provide you with an idea as to your strengths and weaknesses. It also helps you acquire knowledge of how other people view you. Most present-day psychologists agree that five primary personality types are often known as the five-factor model. 

What is the concept of personality?

Personality is described as a characteristic set of cognitions, emotional configurations, and behaviors that arise from environmental and biological factors. Raymond Cattell defines personality as a set of traits that foresee an individual’s behavior. 

What is an example of personality psychology?

Someone’s personality will fall within the range for each trait. For instance, you might be more of an extrovert, agreeable, and more conscientious, but somewhere between neuroticism and openness. 

What are the characteristics of personality?

Three main criteria characterize personality. These are stability, individual differences, and consistency. To possess a personality trait, a person must be fairly consistent in various situations in terms of the behaviors linked to their qualities. 

What are the five main personality traits?

The five general personality traits pertained to by the theory include agreeableness, extroversion, conscientiousness, neuroticism, and openness. Personality trait theories have long tried to pin down the number of personality traits precisely. 

What are the six traits of good character?

The six pillars of character include responsibility, trustworthiness, citizenship, fairness, caring, and respect. 

What are the three natures of personality?

These include social and cultural structure, the organism’s psychic structure, and the organism’s physiological structure. These structures influence the development of personality. 

What is the importance of personality?

The development of personality helps an individual develop a remarkable personality and stand out from the rest. It also plays a vital role in enhancing an individual’s communication skills. People should attempt to practice and perfect the art of conveying their thoughts and emotions in the most preferred way. 

Is personality genetic?

Personality is not determined by only one gene but by the interactions of various genes working together. In general, genes have more influence than how parents influence or shape one’s personality. 

What are the eight types of personalities?

The eight types include introverted thinking, extraverted thinking, extraverted sensation, introverted sensation, introverted intuition, extraverted intuition, introverted thinking, and extraverted thinking. 

What is the rarest personality type?

The rarest personality type is frequently known as a ‘counselor’ type due to the INF J personality traits. The INFJs are quite persistent and moral, and they typically view the glass as half full rather than half empty. They would rather be more open with very few trusted people and are great listeners as well. 

Conclusion

The goal of psychology towards any aspect of life and human behavior is to find common themes or principles that can accurately describe, explain, predict, and even change human behavior and mental processes. It is very important because it would improve our performance in almost every aspect of life. Knowing and understanding can improve learning, job performance, socialization, and self-improvement.

By understanding how the mind works, we could mold the next generation to be capable and empowered to build a better society. A very important aspect of psychology is personality, so personality psychology is as vital as ever.

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Understanding the value of personality psychology is important for psychologists. It helps create programs tailor-fit for an individual struggling with particular conditions. It is also important for psychologists to predict how certain people would respond to certain situations. 

For any individual, it is important to learn about personality and the psychology behind each personality. Through this, a person gets to understand himself/herself better. Moreover, it develops empathy and compassion towards others. Our personalities dictate how we feel, react, interact, and understand things. 

Personalities show our preferences regarding behaviors, hobbies, likes, dislikes, people, romantic partners, and family members. Personalities are also significant indicators of how people conduct themselves in leadership positions and decision-making roles. It also plays a part in information retention activities. 

Countless ways prove that our personality is a part of us. And by understanding it, we can change our lives for the better. Therefore, understanding personality psychology has multiple purposes. It can help improve the workplace, the social network, or just for self-enrichment. Regardless of what life throws at you, understanding your personality will certainly benefit you. By knowing your strengths and limits, you can be more effective in the roles that you play.

Link Between Alcohol And Anxiety: Frequently Asked Questions

 

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When you try to deal with exhausting days or stressful circumstances, you may be persuaded to take a glass and fill it with beer or wine to calm yourself. However, drinking alcohol, specifically heavily and over long periods, can tremendously increase your anxious symptoms.

Consuming alcohol can have dangerous outcomes for someone who is undergoing treatment for depression or anxiety. It might seem like a great way to relieve anxiety if you have one, two, or too many to drink, but in truth, you may be doing yourself more harm than good.

Unwinding

There is a slight truth to the statement that alcohol can lower stress. Alcohol is a downer and has a calming effect that directly affects the brain. Initially, drinking decreases one’s fears and helps you forget your problems for a while. Alcohol also helps improve your mood, increase relaxation, and increase self-confidence. In fact, its effects can be like those of your anti-anxiety medications.

Unwinding with alcohol sometimes isn’t essentially harmful if your doctor is aware and approves of it. However, once you have begun drinking, you might be more willing to tolerate its relaxing effects. Subsequently, this causes the pressure and anxiety even more challenging to go through.

Consuming exaggerated amounts of alcohol can also cause evident mental and physical results. Over time, drinking too much causes memory loss, blackouts, and ultimately brain abnormalities. These issues can worsen anxiety as you attempt to manage the symptoms.

The feeling of relaxation you feel when you consume considerable amounts of alcohol can frequently result from one’s blood alcohol content. A surge in these levels causes a person to have initial feelings of gratification, but then depressive feelings present as the blood alcohol content levels fall. It is then possible that consuming a few drinks that cause your BAC levels to increase and then normalize again can lead you to become more apprehensive than you previously were.

Alcohol And Anxiety

Alcohol alters serotonin and other brain chemical levels, leading to more anxiety. As a matter of fact, the anxiety you’re feeling will even worsen when the effects of alcohol subside. Alcohol-induced anxiety can continue for a few hours or the entire day after you have been drinking.

Using alcohol to counter your issue with social anxiety can be harmful. The Anxiety and Depression Association of America states that more than 5% of Americans have this anxiety type. If you have this condition, you might find social events intolerable. It is typical for individuals with social anxiety problems to use alcohol to manage themselves during social interactions, but this can result in alcohol dependency when socializing, worsening anxiety symptoms.

Approximately 20% of those with a social anxiety disorder also have alcohol dependence.

Additionally, aside from needing to take alcohol to calm their nerves when socializing, other warning signs of dependence include:

  • The need to drink to get up in the morning
  • The inability to quit drinking
  • Heavy drinking for several days a week
  • The need to drink at every social event or gathering
  • Consuming more than four alcoholic beverages in a day

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How does alcohol affect anxiety?

Alcohol worsens anxiety by changing the levels of serotonin and other chemicals found in the brain. A person may feel more tense and anxious after the effects of alcohol wear off in his body. Alcohol-induced anxiety may persist for a number of hours or even the whole day after consuming it.

Can alcohol cause anxiety attacks? 

Alcohol could help with anxiety but only temporarily. The fact is, it can do more harm than good in the long term and can lead to severe panic attacks. It is not uncommon for someone to feel anxious after a heavy drinking spree, but alcohol-induced panic disorder is actually an indication of a serious problem that needs attention. 

Is alcohol bad for anxiety and depression? 

Regularly drinking in heavy doses disrupts the chemicals’ normal activity in the nervous system that are important for good physical and mental health. So while most people feel more relaxed after drinking, in the long run, alcohol negatively affects one’s health and can add to feelings of anxiety and depression and consequently makes stress more difficult to manage. 

How do I stop anxiety after drinking?

Alcohol-induced anxiety lasts for several hours or up to 24 hours after consuming alcohol. Drinking heavily to deal with anxiety can be life-threatening. There are simple strategies that you can try to calm your anxiety after drinking. Initially, you can try slowing down your breathing by counting to three while breathing. Be conscious of your heartbeat while you are gradually relaxing more and more. 

Does CBD help anxiety?

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, CBD has proven to lessen rats’ stress levels under an experimental study. The subjects were said to have lessened their behavioral indications of anxiety. Physiological indications of anxiety, like a fast heartbeat, also became better.

How can I calm my anxiety?

Home remedies that you can do try to help ease your anxiety include:

  • Focused, relaxed deep breaths that could calm both the body and mind
  • Being able to accept your anxious feelings, acknowledge them, and then find ways to put these anxious feelings into perspective
  • Choose a relaxation or mindfulness app that you can follow regularly
  • Being positive and proactive about your mental and physical health.

How can I control my anxiety without medication?

Some simple steps that you can try doing to manage your anxiety without taking medications include:

  • Be mentally and physically active.
  • Avoid too much caffeine.
  • Talk to someone you trust.
  • Feel better about saying no.
  • Get a sufficient amount of sleep.
  • Live in the present.

 

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Bottom Line

The term ‘moderate drinking’ is different for all age brackets and both males and females. In America, ‘moderate’ usually means having one drink daily for women and two for men. On the other hand, older adults can metabolize alcohol rapidly, so if you belong to this age group, you should confine yourself to one type of alcoholic drink a day. Consult with your doctor if moderate drinking is right for you.

The truth is that the benefits of consuming alcohol can often be outweighed by its risks, including obesity, cardiovascular damage, depression, and liver disease. Alcohol impacts everyone in different ways. It makes you feel relaxed after a long and exhausting day, or you can feel idle and useless. Talk with your doctor about these concerns, so you will know if alcohol consumption is safe for you.

 

 

 

How Someone’s Mental Health Doesn’t Get Affected By Parents’ Divorce

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Jolene had been my best friend since fifth grade. I was a transferee back then and found it challenging to connect with my classmates, but Jolene befriended me immediately. While we were the exact opposite of each other – she was tall and funny; I was stout and silent – it somehow didn’t deter us from liking each other’s company.

Whenever we ate lunch and did our assignments together, Jolene would always crack jokes and make things light. (That’s especially true when we’re doing math – our least favorite subject.) She was charming and nice to my parents, too, to the extent that Mom often allowed us to have slumber parties. If you ever met my best friend, you would think that Jolene only experienced sunshine and daisies throughout her childhood.

Unfortunately, the reality was far from that. The reason is that Jolene turned out to be a product of divorce. At first, I did not realize it because her parents always took turns driving her to and from school. On all the occasions that I met them, I never saw my best friend sulk or roll her eyes while either parent wasn’t looking. I only thought of asking when I read Jolene’s permission slip for our field trip and saw that her mother used a different surname.

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I asked, “Oh, did your mom keep her maiden name after getting married?”

Jolene simply replied, “No, she started using it again after her divorce with dad was finalized.”

I was quick to apologize, hoping my question did not offend her, but Jolene waved her hand and laughed. She said, “Hey, it’s okay! It’s not like I was hiding or ashamed of being a product of divorce.”

I stood there, dumbfounded. The last kid I met at my old school whose parents went through the same thing became a rebel overnight. He vandalized the lockers, caused a commotion in the public library, and did everything else that his mom and dad told him not to do. When a teacher yelled, “Stop! Why are you doing this?!” he yelled back, “My parents said they would never split, but they did, and I hate everyone for it!” And here, my best friend was, seemingly unaffected by her folks’ divorce.

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I asked out loud, “How can your mental health be unaffected by all this change?”

Jolene gave me a few reasons that got stuck in my head even decades after hearing them.

There Was No Longer Fighting At Home

My best friend’s primary reason was that her mom and dad used to fight a lot when they were still together. It apparently started with which plates they would use for a family dinner and came to a point where they fought about a slight wrinkle on the bedsheets. Even from a young age, Jolene realized her parents were merely looking for ways to spite each other.

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When the divorce proceedings took place, though, Jolene’s parents still had to go through marriage counseling. That’s when it came to light that the soon-to-be-ex couple forgot how to communicate and lost their romantic love somewhere along the way. But this news helped them become best friends later, so it’s all good.

They Became Better Parents Post-Divorce

Since Jolene’s mom and dad were busy pinpointing each other’s misgivings, they turned into neglectful parents for a little while. My best friend said that there were days when she would go to school without ironed clothes or lunch because her mother forgot to help her dress up in the morning. Then, she walked a few blocks to get home because her father started a yelling match with her mom and didn’t see that it was time to pick up Jolene.

I couldn’t imagine those instances ever happening because of how devoted Jolene’s parents seemed to her. She said, “Yes, they have leveled up at co-parenting since the divorce, so I have no complaints. Perhaps it’s because they no longer live under the same roof, so their time doesn’t get wasted antagonizing each other, and they can focus on me now.”

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They Deserve To Find Happiness

According to Jolene, she had been encouraging her mom and dad to reenter the dating scene. Again, it took me by surprise because I had never met any child of divorce who was this open to letting their parents find new love. If my folks broke up (knock on wood), I don’t think I could do that.

But Jolene reasoned that her parents had been unhappy for years in each other’s arms, so they deserved to look for their own happiness. “I would be selfish to ask them otherwise,” she uttered.

Final Thoughts

I’ll have you know that Jolene’s parents ended up remarrying each other after a decade of being divorced. They had relationships with other people before it happened, and my best friend was cool with it. Still, she was the happiest girl in the world when she found out that her parents were tying the knot again.

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At the reception, Jolene told me, “See, if I acted up years ago and didn’t support my parents’ decision, they would have stayed together unhappily. But now they chose to be together without any prompting from me, and I know that this marriage would last this time.”

 

Mental Health Counseling For The Family

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Throughout the years, mental health has become less and less of a taboo in our society. We are slowly accepting and understanding the truth about mental illness and what we can do to help the people who are affected by this. With what is happening in the world today – the pandemic, being in quarantine, economic decline, and losing physical interaction – it is understandable for many of us to be in mental or emotional distress. So, we need to educate ourselves on the many facts of mental health.

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What Goes Around, Comes Around – Separated During The Lockdown

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I was not just brokenhearted last February. My whole being was devastated due to the fact that my husband of twelve years left me for a younger woman. There were issues of COVID-19 at that time when I heard him talking to her over the phone. “I will be with you, and yes. I will divorce her. I will tell her about it tonight.” I did not make tonight happen, for I walked out of that house, a house that was supposed to be a home for us. We dreamed together that we would grow old there, but then, he was divorcing me. How could he do that?

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Types Of Children From A Dysfunctional Family

In the 2019 parenthood events, there is an emphasis on how toxic parental roles affect the children’s upbringing. Such toxicity can influence the kids’ habits and traits that they somehow carry on to adulthood. It is noted that family dynamics that incorporates compulsive behavior often makes children take on the same example. Therefore, children quite come up with the role that they try to fit in the family.

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The Hero – A hero-type of children from a dysfunctional family is often the responsible ones. These kids are mature and wise beyond their younger years. Most of these hero-type kids are viewed as well-composed, self-sufficient, and over-achievers. However, in reality, these children suffer silently. They carry the burden of sadness from their parent’s toxic behaviors. These kids force themselves to become the opposite of their parents regardless of whatever it takes.

The Troublemaker – Usually, this type of child is the family’s scapegoat. These children are the ones who often take the blame for their parents’ incompetent actions. These kids are angry, aggressive, and defensive. They always put on a strong personality making most of them the leader of their social groups. But what people do not know is that they build walls around themselves out of fear. These children are emotionally sensitive and self-destructive.

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The Enabler – Children take on this role when they try to hide their dysfunctional family’s negative aspects. These kids appear to be the caretakers of the family. They do not know how to cope with the toxicity, so they do not try to confront every one of their behavior; they make excuses for other people to mask down their family’s dysfunctionality. These kids secure the family by convincing people to believe they are happy and well-rounded. These children distract people because they know how to show cheerful demeanor despite having an emotional dilemma.